Cindie Wilding Celebrate Everyday

Katie & Johnny

Katie and Johnny were lovers.  I never could stop thinking of that song (yeah I know it's Frankie not Katie but still) when I thought of these guys.  And boy was it true.  Sweet, pure lovers.  Lovers of each other.  Lovers of supporting each other as they went about the business of pursuing their dreams.  Lovers of Harry Potter.  Yes, HP fans, this was a wedding with many overtones of purple and a ceremony that referenced not only Harry Potter movie quotes but The Princess Bride as well.  I love all my couples.  I really do.  I love how easy it is to find the unique and wonderful qualities about each couple, to tell their story in a way that represents them.  Katie & Johnny = so sweet.  Tears were falling from all 3 sets of our eyes the moment Katie walked down the aisle.

Image Courtesy of Ford Family Photography

Johnny proposed to Katie at Harry Potter World, in the Three Broomsticks (where else?).  Theirs was to be a marriage that would last 120 years because one lifetime would not be enough.  

Image Courtesy of Ford Family Photography

Katie and Johnny wanted to demonstrate the blending of their two styles...their two distinct personalities into one beautiful, creative unit, so they had fun doing a sand sculputure with purple and silver sand.  This is a beautiful way to utilize colors from your wedding into a keepsake (and have fun learning to share and co-create something for your home.  (It did take a little bit of co-operation on their part.)

               

Photos Courtesy of Ford Family Photography

Working with Katie and Johnny just emphasized for me why I love this work.  It was such a joy to me to watch not only their faces, but the faces of their loved ones during the ceremony, dabbing their eyes with tissue, laughing out loud, experiencing some intense emotions which is really the point of ceremonies -- to feel the feelings we have inside, about each other, about this new person coming into our family, about the change in our young child who is now officially no longer a child.  It is a letting go and an embracing all at the same time and from my perspective, standing in my shoes, tears are very, very good.  

Image Courtesy of Ford Family Photography

Katie and Johnny...“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  

Out With The Old, In With The New

Image courtesy of Snowflakes & Snow Crystals

I love this time of year, the quiet, peaceful time between Christmas and New Years when the world seems more pensive, reflective, slowed down.  The hurried pace is gone and Christmas is a fond memory of family and friends, presents given and received, good food, good company.  This time of year feels quiet to me, like the quiet of snowfall.  I don't live in snow now, but did as a child.  I remember those fresh snow days and how quiet everything felt.  It's such a perfect time of year to allow that quiet to guide me in taking time for me, taking time to look back at one year and look forward to the next.

This weekend I'm carving out time, journal and kitty in my lap, hot beverage at my side; reflecting on the highlights from 2011 and my goals and aspirations for 2012.  

Here are a few of them:

2011 Highlights:

• met so many fun and sweet couples this year and had so much fun getting to know them, creating their unique wedding ceremonies and sharing their special wedding day with them
  
• amazing art and yoga solo retreat in Puerta Vallarta - explored my inner artist
• sweetie embraced vegetarian lifestyle (up side to heart attack/bypass surgery); I now call myself an aspiring vegan
• enjoyed the pleasure of performing my first memorial service, a complete honor. Very much looking forward to expanding this part of my business
• loved working with teens in a rite of passage program as they embraced a special time in their lives
• began my 'pre-marital coaching' program which I'm finding a real treat and an opportunity to get to know my couples even better
• several long weekend trips to Santa Barbara (with my kids), Clear Lake (winery tours with girlfriend) and Tahoe (performed 10 yr recommitment ceremony & led a workshop on Love Languages)

2012 Intentions and Aspirations

• trip to NYC for fun and frolic with dear coaching buddy friend I've not yet met
• appearance on Bliss Radio in June, being interviewed about Relationships
• more fabulous wedding ceremonies...continue to get to know my couples and tell their wonderful love story in a way that makes them say "YES!"
• continue to find ways to Give Back and Make a Difference:  Adopt a Turkey again at Thanksgiving, give to animal shelters and sanctuaries, begin working with hospice to lend support to the dying and their families
• continue to grow myself personally, spiritually, physically which means scheduled time for creativity, quiet reflection and my outdoor/run time and yoga time
• lead inspiring women's retreat April 7 ("Oh my gosh I'm over 50, what's happened to me?")
• attend Wanderlust and improve my 'bendi-ness'!
• despite how much my planning mind wants to plan, Enjoy The Present Moment

Thank you for being a part of my life in 2011.  I look forward to connecting with you in 2012.  Celebrate the tiny moments of your life.  Release what you no longer need and embrace the possibilities that await you in 2012.  Create your own New Years ritual with personal meaning.  Light a candle.  Say a prayer.  Offer gratitude.  

Happy, happy New Year!

Winter Solstice

Wednesday marks Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year.  From here on the days slowly become longer as the darkness of winter turns to the lightness of spring.  But Winter Solstice represents much more than long nights turning to long days.  Solstice has been celebrated in various cultures around the world for thousands of years as a winter ritual.  After the dark, cold melancholy of winter, a time of forced indoor residing, Solstice is a time to celebrate that the lightness will once again return to life as we know it.  Take notice of all the many winter celebrations that involve light and candles:  Hanukkah candles, Saint Lucia's Day lights, Christmas lights and many other ancient cultures' rituals, celebrated with lights and bonfires.

For several years I led Winter Solstice retreats, an opportunity to stop and reflect on the past year and to look forward to the new year and all the opportunity it holds.  Winter Solstice is full of symbols of opposites -- black and white, light and dark, warm and cold, abundance and scarcity, life and death.  Nature herself celebrates solstice as the leaves gather strength to blossom again, critters gather strength to come out of hibernation.  

Sometimes our greatest joys follow deep sorrow and so it is with solstice -- it is a time to let go of the past and to embrace our bright and shiny futures.  

This year instead of leading a retreat, I'll be attending a Winter Solstice celebration at the Sacramento Food Co-op.  But I'll leave you with a few of the questions I've typically asked at my Solstice retreats, for your reflection.  

1.  What challenges did you face this year?  What was the gift of each one?  What are you incomplete with?

2.  What successes did you celebrate this year?  How do they make you feel today?  What values do they reflect?

3.  What have you learned about life that you would like to carry into the new year?  What would you like to let go of?

Winter is a lesson about the fine art of loss and growth.  The lesson is clear:  there is only one way out of the struggle and that is by going into its darkness, waiting for the light, and being open to new growth.  ~  Joan Chittister 

Happy Solstice everyone!  Here's to your limitless possibilities in the light of the new year!  

Image courtesy of  Stonehenge Winter Solstice

Ali & Yuri

Ali & Yuri came from completely different cultures, or so it would seem.  At their wedding, the right side of the aisle (from my perspective) mostly spoke Spanish, and those on the left side of the aisle, mostly spoke Persian.  They came together sometimes in bits of English and body language.  As different as they were, in cultural traditions and rituals, there was one common denominator, the thread that ran throughout their ceremony as a theme:  Love of family and a sweet cherishing of the love between them.  

 Their ceremony embraced both of their cultures -- the bride escorted in by her parents accompanied by a mariachi band and a Persian ceremony following mine, rich with ritual.  During part of that ceremony, a covering was placed over the bride and groom, held in place by bridesmaids, while other bridesmaids gently grated a sugar sculpture over their heads, representing a wish for them to have a sweet life.  

Reflecting their deep devotion to each other and their respect, admiration of love of their families, the ceremony I created for them covered loyalty to family, the sacredness they hold for their love and what love and marriage really meant to them.  To them, real love is working through the hard times, full of compassion and always being not only friends, but each other's cheerleaders.  
 It was an inspiring service, full of relatives who moved heaven and earth to hand bake baklava (a LOT of it, and probably the best I've ever had), almond cookies and a table full of other treats as well as an altar which sat behind me during the service, filled to the brim with symbology, each item representing a wish for the couple -- an abundant life, a sweet marriage, much luck, etc.  

This is why I love Celebrant work -- I find each person and couple's story inspiring and uplifting, each nuance of who they are so unique and in my heart I feel how empowering it is for them to stand in front of their loved ones, proclaiming their love, honoring their ancestors and say... this is who I am; this is who we are.    

The Rituals of Thanksgiving

As I write this it is Thanksgiving morning.  I've just indulged in one of my personal holiday rituals, a solo walk/run in the early morning, just before light, this year with a bit of rain sprinkling along with me.  So quiet you could hear a leaf drop, to me, this the way to start the holiday.  

The structure of Thanksgiving has changed a bit through the years.  In my opinion, every year more emphasis gets placed on launching immediately into Black Friday Christmas shopping so that I sometimes feel Thanksgiving gets marginalized in the immediate flurry towards Christmas.  I understand many of you may incorporate Black Friday shopping as a part of your Thanksgiving rituals and I honor and respect that.  

If I am to believe my gradeschool history book, the first Thanksgiving involved Pilgrims sitting down with Indians to enjoy peace and be grateful for the bounty they now enjoyed.  That, I believe, is still at the heart and soul of Thanksgiving -- food, family, friends, and of course gratitude.

What I love about Thanksgiving is it's simplicity -- it's about bonding with people you love, enjoying great food together and being mindfully thankful.  No one needs to go shopping or stress, just be.  I also love the fact that we all add our own traditions and rituals to the holiday.  A long-time vegetarian, this year I decided to start my own new tradition and I adopted a turkey.  In our family, since my kids were little, we've passed a bowl of popcorn seeds around the table, sharing our gratitude as we took a tiny seed.  Through the years, after dinner walks, casual and sometimes hilarious games of football in the park and pumpkin pie have all been a part of my day and celebration.

From a Celebrant point of view, this four day weekend is about celebrating the rich lives we all live, each with our own special rituals and spin.  With large extended families, this often means multiple celebrations and various traditions, but the message remains the same - celebrate with those you love, break bread together and reflect on your bounty.  

May your days be filled with love, good food, good laughs and your own sweet rituals, whether they are long-standing or freshly created this year.  And please share your own with me here, I'd love to hear them!  

Thank You!

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

    ~ Meister Eckhart

Happy Thanksgiving, with Gratitude in My Heart

November is a fantastic time to focus on gratitude.  I love thinking of a specific gratitude each day of the month.  This way I can mindfully pay tribute to all aspects of my life and give thanks for all I have. 

Today I'm feeling especially thankful for all of my clients during 2011.  As my business grew from coaching and retreats to Celebrant ---creating ceremonies for birthdays, memorials and weddings, I feel so darn lucky to work with each one of the people I have been privileged to meet.  Each client and situation unique and special, but in every case, it was such an honor to be trusted to walk with you down your path, to listen to your story, and perhaps to inspire you as you have inspired me.  

Thanks to all of you reading this for your support as well.

From this place of gratitude, I've been giving lots of thought to how best to give back in a meaningful way.  I've been pondering and researching the many worthy charities and causes, and have decided on one.  I'll be donating a percentage of my business income this year to the Placer SPCA. In the end my love of animals and a desire to stay with a local charity helped me choose.  Check out their website or the Sacramento SPCA, or for more charity ideas check out Charity Navigator.

Anyone out there have any favorites you would like to share?  

Kimber and Steve

Image Courtesy of TheGoodness

What do you get when you cross two competitive, baseball playing, scrabble-loving, dog cuddling, funny people?  A very fun and uniquely personal wedding ceremony filled with tiny fun details, like Scrabble letters everywhere!  (Did I mention it was fun?)

When I met Kimber and Steve, they told me how they met playing baseball, how they traveled to Europe with their travel Scrabble and how every picture of them in Paris, in a "Where's Waldo" kind of way included the precious Scrabble board.  They were witty and kind, clearly in love, and they wanted their ceremony to reflect many funny and personal stories, be warm and unique and personal to them.  And, it was.

 Image courtesy of TheGoodness

Image Courtesy of TheGoodness

Kimber and Steve's ring ceremony included promises to not yell at the TV unless the 49ers were losing and to care if they did lose.  Their ceremony also included a sweet and tear-inspiring tribute to their families, in particular a greatly loved and missed nana, but in large part, in words and in laughs, it reflected the joy these two share together.   

Image Courtesy of TheGoodness

I really enjoyed getting to know Kimber and Steve while preparing their ceremony.  They share a wonderful sense of humor and are a very sweet couple to boot.  I wish them a lifetime of J O Y (13 points!)

 

(Special thanks to The Goodness for the fabulous photos they took at the wedding.  Geoff & Lisa are a husband and wife photograph and design duo who do amazing work.  Check them out at The Goodness)

What I Celebrated This Week

Last week ended with a trip to Santa Barbara with my daughter and grandson, to visit my son.  We celebrated family, the joy of playing on the beach, music and avocados while attending AvoFest.  This is one of my favorite pictures from the trip - my son teaching my grandson to play guitar.  I think they share a passion.

I celebrated the start of pre-marital coaching with my May 2012 wedding couple -- Liz & Sara.  We met for salads and conversation about their goals and expectations.  Coaching questions and homework will follow.  I celebrate them starting out with such honorable intentions.  

I celebrated what it means to be human and have a body that is not perfect.  After two quite unhappy days in bed, I celebrated my body's return to health and energetic capacity!!  Hallelujah!  

I celebrated becoming healthy just in the nick of time to perform a wedding scheduled for Friday afternoon.  It was a unique and special ceremony (of course!) combining Harry Potter colors (purple and charcoal gray), references and quotes and even a quote from The Princess Bride.  Pictures coming soon but it was a gorgeous wedding and I was so happy to be able to be there to share it with them.  I celebrate them and wish them well in their magicial new life.

Image courtesy of phanlop88

 

 

 

 

 

 

I celebrated the weekend with a long bike ride, including a ride through the local cemetary.  It may sound a little creepy, especially this time of year, but I really enjoy graveyards.  I find them serene but also oh so interesting with all the stories that are literally lying buried there.  Reading old headstones is fascinating, and I also enjoy finding altars created on make-shift headstones.  Here's a picture of a little girl's headstone.  She was only 3 when she passed and her loved ones have taken all her most prized toys, stickers, dolls, shoes and trinkets and created a most unique and sweet spot for her.  

I'm finishing the weekend celebrating the fall colors everywhere, baking lasagna, hitting the yoga mat and looking forward to what the new week will bring.  

What celebrations did your week include?  How are you finishing out the week?  Celebrate whatever you do from your heart.  

Fall Reflection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of Simon Howden

With October's arrival, autumn's fanciful colors, blythe spirit and reminder to take time for reflection have arrived on our doorsteps as well.  I adore autumn.  It is my favorite season, for many reasons.  When else can I experience all the gorgeous coloring fall brings -- oranges, reds, golds that make my heart sing?  When else can I feel warm sun and a cool breeze at the same time along with that "fall is in the air" expectation, that sense of anticipation and excitement that something is coming?

(As an aside to Brides -- it's a great time for a wedding -- not too hot, not too cold and the decorating is done by nature.)

Fall is the cozy season.  We cozy up with sweaters, alongside fires, and with bowls of soup and cups of hot cocoa.  It is the season for coming back inside after the outdoorsy-ness and heat of summer.  I relish time for not only a respite from the cold, but a respite from my busy schedule, time to re-group.   

Today I allowed myself what felt like a luxury - the gift of taking time out.  Those who know me might be shocked to learn I actually slept until 8 and didn't remove myself from bed until 9 when I could fully say "I'm ready to get up" without a "should" injected.  For a normally early-rising, go, go go girl, resting, then just sitting, mindfully and quietly with my tea, was a much needed treat.  

It is also a time of Celebration!  In the 'old days' (yes, even before I was a child) families celebrated the fall harvest, canning and packing food away for the winter and rejoicing in their bounty of crops.  While I might not have a cellar full of food to celebrate, it is a good time for me to take stock, celebrate what I have, and start to let go to make room for what is coming next.    

Today I invite you to celebrate and review your fall harvest.  I have had an amazing year full of inspiring experiences, travel, creative and sweet brides & grooms to marry, the privilege to honor departed souls, and some very sweet retreats with women I call friends more than clients.  

Organizing my client files, purging my office of a few books, starting the creative process with my spring 2012 couples, and planning a few fun excursions for the next few months, will put my 'house in order' for winter and prepare me for rolling into the holidays and ending 2011.

Today I'll prepare for relatives visiting this week, by cleaning and decorating the house with my stash of gorgeous gourds found during a visit to a farm stand yesterday.  

Surround yourself with the beauty of fall in whatever way it speaks to you.  Celebrate your fall harvest by taking time for yourself, clearing the clutter (if only from your mind) and allowing every day of this season to be a Celebration.    

Honoring the Departed with an Altar

Today I performed a memorial service for a man who left behind many grown children, each who knew him (or didn't know him) in a very different way.  The focus of the ceremony, of course, was on him, who he was, what he stood for, what he loved.  At the back of the "room" (we were outdoors), was an altar of sorts -- a table with momentos that reflected his love of golf (note the golf club and his favorite hat), pictures of him in the outdoors, fishing and camping, and cards he had given to family members through the years.  Golf balls were inserted in the flowers.  I love the use of an altar at any ceremony, but particularly for a funeral or memorial service.  What a magical way to remember someone, by way of a visual 'storyboard' of the highlights. How would you wish to be remembered by all you love and who love you?  

I believe my table would be decorated with a few of my most beautiful scarves, covered with pictures of me taken with loved ones, sunny yellow daises, a few of my favorite books (John Muir's comes to mind), and momentos from travels, ceremonies I've performed and retreats I've led.

What legacy are you leaving?  What would your altar hold?